I suddenly remember an earlier thought about how everything comes down to perception.
A young girl who has everything could have thoughts of killing herself merely because she had failed to secure the grades she worked for at school whilst a woman battling cancer for many years could have the strength and will to carry on fighting for her life because she sees so much to live for. Every other person on the street have their own perception of things. Among us there are the positive, the negative and the nonchalant. But think about it. What makes us perceive so differently when we live in the same world, under the same blue sky?
And the thing is this...our perception changes overtime. Could the girl who had wanted to commit suicide grow up to be the woman who goes all out to battle against cancer for survival?
I found this forum entry of someone who had once contemplated suicide. He emphatised with those who came to see the world with such devastation and hopelessness that they had wanted to end everything. But when he wrote the forum entry, how much his perception has changed...
http://tristooges.com/forum/archive/index.php/t-2285.html
Entry by idolhunter
"Release your sadness whenever you can...A girl committed suicide in the toilet at UUMand it seems she has bad results from her examination...Ya, you say that she is very foolish....but not to her at that very moment...We do not know what is in the mind of people when they decide to do that..It takes alot of guts to do this unthinkable matter...to put a rope or a cloth around your neck and kick off the chair..And there are alot of cases when people jump off from a tall building...when we think about this things, we say why are they so stupid or foolish...Now, let me tell you my experience....as a young boy, sometimes we do have our ups and downs...when I see my friends all passing with flying colors and me...I failed...I feel like there is something wrong with me...sometimes I blame my parents for being poor...for not guiding me...for not taking better care of me... for not understanding that wehave to study, instead wasting our time to errants everyday untilwe have no time to study...or for sending me to a school that is so faraway and with the travelling to and fro from school has taken up all theour time....I was the only one in the family who has to study in English while allmy brothers and sisters are in Chinese schools...I was all alone and noone could help me...I cried many times... I beg my mum to send me to a chineseschool like all my brothers and sisters did...but what I got was more canning and insisted that I must to that English school..Scolding and canning is a daily routine in our family...Everyday, someone will be scolded or canned, my dad is a very hot-temperedman...Sometimes I would go to school in the morning...and come back home at nightbecause of cirriculums in the afternoon..and since my home is so far away..I would stay back at school...I felt sad when I see my friends all going home from school and comes backfresh for the cirriculum while I have to sit around under the trees in school to past the time...and sometimes going home early after school is also another sad thing..as when at home, we have a duty to help in my dad's coffeeshop..and thescolding and canning...Suicide was always at the back of my mind when it becomes unbearable....when we just cannot explain to our parents for fear of more scolding and canning...but I procastinate....everytime when this suicide thought came to my mind...I kept telling myself... no...no.. its not time to go yet..Due to my ample time that I have while in school alone always, I began tohave this habit of talking to myself...sometimes just cry and shout outanything that was in me to release.... I felt better after that...Procastinate your suicide thoughts and find a way to release your sadness...Of course now as an adult, it all look very silly...but at that time...it hurts and its real..Well, I hope this little experience will help some of you clear your mindswhen you feel that no one can help you....YOU can help yourself this way.."
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