I'm in trouble. The emotions are getting out of hand. I have been infatuated before but this is getting ridiculous. I dont know why my emotions are so entwined with another person's attention. Though i know i have been prone to that. Emotional dependency is a problem and a weakness that i'd have to work on weeding out of my system. Who has time to always have me in their mind? I should be glad things are the way it is after the breakup. Nothing should hold me back. So why am i tying up my emotions again into this tight depressing knot, binding myself to the intangible? Hah, say what i want but right after this entry i know i'll be waiting for my interest to make some kind of connection...pathetic!

I asked Jason in passing today how JH is doing. I do miss him. How can you not miss someone who had been your best friend for the past 8 years? Someone who had seemed to know you better than you know yourself? I sometimes wonder if he still cares like i do. I may have moved on but doubt that i could really stop caring. I do wish him well.

Can feel a bad sore throat setting in. Thanks to couple sticks of cigarillo i had after breakfast. They are almost always followed by a sore throat and a numbness to the tongue.

Started on John Grisham's A Painted House. Witty, gripping, To Kill a Mocking Bird sort of tale. Powerful short straight prose written from the endearing perspective of a seven year old boy.